Oh, just rip my heart out

So I wrote a blog earlier on the Waiting for Ships site about missing housing.  Obviously I haven't talked about any of this with the boys.  I don't ever bring up our old house, because I don't want Chase to be confused.

On the way home from town today, this was our discussion:

C- "Mom, what's wrong with our house?"

M- "What do you mean, sweetie?"

C- "Our old house, Mom.  What's wrong with it?"

M- "Which house, Chase?"

C- "You know, the one where we lived in California!  What's wrong with it?"

M- "Why do you think something's wrong with it?"

C- "It's just sad.  Our old house is sad."

M- "Why is our house sad, baby?"

C- "It misses us, Mom.  He misses me."

How heart wrenching is that?  It's funny that he misses that house so much because this one is much newer and nicer.  I guess he's like his Daddy, and that CA house just felt like "home" to him.  We've only been here about 8 weeks.  I know he'll start feeling better here.

Then we get home, and Logan had fallen asleep in the car.  I unloaded the groceries and went back to get him.  I picked him up, and he mumbled, "Dad?  Oh, Daddy!"

*sigh*  These kiddos are so strong, and so resilient.  I hope we get to see Daddy soon.

I need a time out

It is amazing to me that there is no such thing as a day off.  Not evening an evening off.  Not even on Mother's Day weekend.

What a crock.

I'm not going to expand, but I'm NOT happy this morning.

Rawr

I am married to a fine specimen of the human race.  That's all I have to say.

~meow~

My little girl

I talk about the boys quite a bit, but haven't really shared much about my little girl.  

Nah, she's not a daughter in the traditional sense, but she's my furbaby.

After I had Logan, Stuart and I decided we wanted a dog.  Not a puppy - a dog.  We looked at a few different websites, and on Petfinder, we found about 4 dogs we were interested in.  We did a little more research on whether the dog would be a good fit with our family.  A couple of the dogs were given new homes before we could get to them.  We had given up hope, decided to just wait.  We thought that maybe it wasn't the right time.  

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret:  If I'm told something isn't going to happen, but I really want it to happen, I keep looking.  I accept that the timing, finances, and/or practicality isn't right, but what does it hurt to look?

Then I found the most BEAUTIFUL dog.  She was a boxer mix - the breed Stuart and I both loved.  She was brindle, and favored Stuart's dog that he had growing up.  She was good with kids, and had good reviews.  I was SO afraid we wouldn't get to her in time.  She was over 3 hours away.

In e-mailing back and forth, I got to know a little more about Dutchess.  She had been surrendered with another, smaller dog.  The smaller dog was adopted quickly, but she'd been there a while now.  She had a great personality and was really patient.  They were able to take her in the kitten room with them at the shelter and she just sat quietly.  She was fixed, and would be microchipped before she was able to leave the shelter.  

The kicker - if she wasn't adopted by the end of the week, they were going to have to put her down.  She was half price to try to entice someone to take her.  I e-mailed every possible question and BEGGED them please to just hold her until Stuart's day off.  

We got there and took the kids inside.  She walked right up to Logan, who was almost 5 mos and sniffed him and gave him one little kiss.  She played with me and Chase.  She sat.  She was well behaved.  

She was ours.

We have been SO blessed to have this animal in our lives.  I wonder about her background - her past.  I know she has stories in there that I wouldn't believe.  I'll have to write about that another day, though.

She was housebroken.  She was PERFECT with the kids.  Never aggressive with her food or toys.  She still is great with them.  She has a little growl especially for Chase if he's climbing on her or annoying her.  It clearly says, "Please, leave me alone."  She's much nicer about it than I would be.  LOL!  He loves her dearly, and calls her always "Dutchie", never "Dutchess".

Oh, and Stuart says she's MY dog.  Let me show you something:

 This is a picture of "my" dog when Stuart has been gone for a few days.  She's at the loveseat by the front door pouting for him to come home.  The other day she was on the back of the loveseat while I was online with her head on my shoulder pouting because she missed him so much.  Mmmm hmmmm.  My dog.

Today we had such fun.  Stuart was home for a whopping day, so it was tough on all 3 of the "kids" when he left.  We decided to play hide and seek.  Every time it was my turn to hide, though, Dutchess would cheat!  If I hid in the closet, she'd crouch right at the closet door and bark to alert Chase.  If I was behind the door, she was at the door, tipping him off.  It was quite unfair.  

I decided to let her play hide and seek, if that was what she wanted.  I took her orange toy (it's a rubber dog toy that looks like a jack) and hid it.  I'd have her sit and stay in the living room, and then I'd hide it in one of the bedrooms in the back.  She was SO happy to play hide and seek with her toy.  We played two different times today.  She was smiling and so pleased with herself.  There was only one time she couldn't find it.  She was hysterical to watch!  She even thought I'd hidden it on the bookshelf in the boys' room, so she stood up on Logan's bed on her hind legs trying to sniff up there.  It was adorable.

I can't wait until Daddy gets home so that he can see my pretty Dutchie's new game.  :)

This just in...

I'd mentioned on CC's a while back (can't remember whether I mentioned it here) that the hubs and I were considering a cruise this summer.  Well, with the possibility of him going to EMT school, him being in drydock, Chase starting school early, and the 100%+ cost increase during the summertime months, we've decided to hold off on the cruise.  

Instead, we'll be going to New Orleans for 4 days!  WOOO HOOOO!  Last time we went, I was pregnant with Chase.  There was no drinking, and a LOT of waddling.  Since I'm starting WW this week, it'll give me time to be at LEAST 15 lbs down, if not more.  I'm not a big drinker, but it'll be nice to have the option of an adult beverage.  

We're looking at taking the Jazz Dinner Cruise and really having a good time.  Oh, and a king sized bed with no kids or dog.  :)

Also, my sweet man told me that for our 10th anniversary (in 2 years) he wants to go to an all-inclusive resort for a week or so.  He's thinking Turks and Caicos or the like.  Isn't he the best?

It's nice to have things to look forward to.  

Life isn't a dress rehearsal

You know those cliche' things that you hear repeatedly?  Do you ever really think about them?

I was chatting with my friend Sonya a few days ago, and we were talking about changes in my attitude and perspective.  We were talking about all kinds of things, frankly.  I told her how important it was to me to have a beautiful bedroom.  I have satin sheets on my bed, scarves hung from the ceiling as a canopy, curtains on the windows, and pretty things in there.  I've never had a room that was beautiful like this, and my parents certainly never had a bedroom that was an oasis - a retreat.

She then said, "You know, Amber, life isn't a dress rehearsal.  You've got to make the most of it while you can."

I'll tell you I've heard that saying so many times before, but it really started to sink in the other day.  I do need to make the most of each day.  

Today I got some news that made me appreciate that advice even more.  You know, we never know how many days we're going to be here.  We don't know how many more kisses we have to give, hugs left to offer, tears to shed.  We aren't guaranteed that we'll wake up tomorrow.  There's no promise that we'll see the kids grow up and have kids of their own.  

I'm not trying to be all doomsday and negative.  Quite the contrary.  Because we aren't guaranteed anything in this life, we need to take advantage of every moment.  Kiss like you'll never see him again.  Hold your children like it's the last time.  Tell your friends you love them and the impact they've had on your life.  Stop your bad habit that you've been wanting to change.  Find a friend you lost contact with.  Say I'm sorry.  Forgive someone.  

The truth is, this is the life we're getting.  It's up to us to make the most of it.  There's no understudy, and there's no do-over.  This is it.  

Go break a leg.  ;)

Goofy kiddo

These boys are too much sometimes.  They really are.  Usually it's a good Chase story to share, but this evening is Logan's turn.  Since he ditched the binky, he's quite the little conversationalist.  He thinks so, anyway.  It's always interesting to try to figure out what exactly he's trying to say when he tries to say big words.

After dinner, the boys wanted a couple of Ritz crackers for a snack.  Logan's been really bad about just crushing a snack and letting the dog clean it up.  I heard the crackers crunching, but not hitting the floor.  He comes running up to me and says, "Heeuh!  abozzabee!"

Now.  I know that the first word is "here".  The next concoction of sounds was really stumping me, though.  He said it again, and this time crammed a piece of broken cracker in my mouth.  Then it dawned on me.

Garbanzo beans.

Not familiar with the picture?  It's from a show called Zoboomafoo.  The lemur eats - you guessed it - garbanzo beans.  What a thing for a 2 year old to be trying to say...