New skill

Well, no, it's not that the fridge is learning to rappel.  

It's actually, in fact, more along the lines of this:

In yet another "Daddy watching the boys" episode, Logan breaks into the fridge.  Chaos and disorder ensue.

Here's what happens when I get a break.  I leave for a couple of hours.  This particular day, I was going to get my hair cut.  The last time, it was to shop with a friend.  Both times, I've been gone just a little while, and I get the call:

"Babe, guess what your son just did..."

On Sunday, it seems that my son wanted something from the fridge.  He, in all of his two-year-old glory opened the fridge to get to the cupcakes that Nena sent home with me.  Instead of just eating them quickly, he placed one upside down on his head.  Then he smeared one in the carpet in the living room, and another on the wall.  Neat, huh?  He also thought that the picture of a strawberry on the Cool Whip container indicated that there were actually strawberries inside.  In his disappointment, he got Cool Whip everywhere, after letting a plush toy swim in it for a while.

My response?

"You're fired.  You suck as a babysitter."

Hubby says, "Fine.  I'll just pack my stuff up and leave tomorrow."  (Headed back to dry dock.)

Touche'.

...and I still had to clean the wall and carpet ~ Figure that one out...

It's official

Hotel is booked.  Kids are goin' to Grammy's, Aunt Ame's, and Grandma's.

Mom and Dad are goin' to New Orleans!  I cannot wait!!!  Absolutely cannot wait.

I used Priceline to book.  My sister does this ALL the time to book hotels.  We got almost 1/2 off of the advertised sale on Orbitz.  The only catch is the ungodly parking cost, but that's at EVERY hotel in NOLA.  

I'm so excited.  I'm ready for a couple of easy days sans kids.  I love my children dearly.  I really do.  I'm just growing weary of the single mom lifestyle.  I miss my best friend, my confidante, and my love.  I'm so looking forward to sleeping in - or not.  ;)  I am ready to stroll the streets hand in hand.  I cannot wait to eat dinner slowly, able to carry a real conversation.  

Just a few weeks away!  Woo hooo!

The apple doesn't fall far...

A little before 1:00 am, the screams could be heard in my home.  I was roused from a finally deep sleep by screaming and blood.  LOTS of blood.  It was Chase.  There was blood ALL over his hands, his pants, his face, his shirt.  It took me a minute to figure out what was going on.

He was having a nose bleed.  It was pouring.  Now, if you don't know Chase, he's a little on the sensitive side.  He's really freaked out by the sight of blood.  He's obsessed with Band-Aids and Neosporin.  Honestly.  Most kids ask to walk down the toy aisle first thing when they go shopping, but Chase asks if we can look at the Band-Aids.  

I wake up enough to move him to the bathroom.  This is where he freaks the heck out.  He saw the blood and started jumping and flinging his hands.  I was trying to hold some tissue to his nose to stop the bleeding and he was fighting me.  Blood sprayed all over my ivory shower curtain.  

Logan, at this point wakes up screaming bloody murder, too.  When he gets woken up , he wants to be held, and he was angry that all my focus was on brother.  So I had a kid freaking, with blood everywhere, and a kid pulling on me to pick him up.

I finally explained to Chase that I knew he was scared, but I used do have nose bleeds, too.  He didn't need to worry, we just needed it to stop.  When I say I used to have nose bleeds, too, I don't mean just a couple times in the winter when the air was dry.  

In second grade, I had 63 documented nose bleeds at school.  On every permission slip for every field trip, my mom wrote "frequent nose bleeds" under medical conditions.  The doctors couldn't do anything about them, but they finally stopped when I hit puberty.  (gotta love that irony, right?)

We finally got the nose bleed to stop.  I sprayed some stain remover on my shower curtain and got it in the wash.  I got him cleaned up, and everyone jumped in Mommy's bed to snuggle and get a couple more hours of sleep.

I honestly hope he doesn't get them with the frequency I had them.  He was a trooper, though, once he realized he wasn't hemorrhaging or something.  

Yee haw.

My fantasy

To eat, to chew -

To chew, perchance to dine

This is my fantasy.  I want an uninterrupted meal, with no one to wait on.  No one needing food cut up.  

In an ideal world, I would prepare the food, a la June Cleaver.  I'd wear my lovely half apron, a string of pearls, and be just a perfect little wifey.  The mashed potatoes would be creamy and tasty, and the gravy - well, I'd know how to make gravy.  

Once my adoring sons and husband were seated at the table, I would bring in dinner.  No, it's not suitable to just serve it from the pot!  Serving dishes are required!  Plates are dished up, my children LOVE the food, and my husband actually tastes it before seasoning it.  Everyone waits until I am seated comfortably, we say grace, and dine together.

In reality, my adoring children are very picky.  We serve our food straight from the pot, unless I've made a salad of some sort.  My husband never tastes ANYTHING without seasoning it first.  It's a little quirk that's still as quirky 13 years later.  

Even if we all start out seated at the same time, say grace, and begin eating, I hardly ever get a bite before it's cold.  Honestly.  I get a bite halfway to my mouth, and someone needs more ketchup.  Get it, sit down, now the other needs more corn.  Oh, sure while I'm up...

When hubby's gone, it's only worse.

Taking the kids out isn't really any easier.  Yes, someone is serving the food for us.  Someone else has the leg work.  We have the added challenge of keeping the food and hands in our eating area.  Oh, and keeping the noise level somewhere below jet aircraft.

I'm so looking forward to a few days' vacation with my hubby.  To sit and eat together, and enjoy a meal.  That's a real fantasy of mine.

Oh, just rip my heart out

So I wrote a blog earlier on the Waiting for Ships site about missing housing.  Obviously I haven't talked about any of this with the boys.  I don't ever bring up our old house, because I don't want Chase to be confused.

On the way home from town today, this was our discussion:

C- "Mom, what's wrong with our house?"

M- "What do you mean, sweetie?"

C- "Our old house, Mom.  What's wrong with it?"

M- "Which house, Chase?"

C- "You know, the one where we lived in California!  What's wrong with it?"

M- "Why do you think something's wrong with it?"

C- "It's just sad.  Our old house is sad."

M- "Why is our house sad, baby?"

C- "It misses us, Mom.  He misses me."

How heart wrenching is that?  It's funny that he misses that house so much because this one is much newer and nicer.  I guess he's like his Daddy, and that CA house just felt like "home" to him.  We've only been here about 8 weeks.  I know he'll start feeling better here.

Then we get home, and Logan had fallen asleep in the car.  I unloaded the groceries and went back to get him.  I picked him up, and he mumbled, "Dad?  Oh, Daddy!"

*sigh*  These kiddos are so strong, and so resilient.  I hope we get to see Daddy soon.

I need a time out

It is amazing to me that there is no such thing as a day off.  Not evening an evening off.  Not even on Mother's Day weekend.

What a crock.

I'm not going to expand, but I'm NOT happy this morning.