Oh, gee whiz.

My little big boy went to VBS last week.  I took him and dropped him off M-F for a few hours.  He had a great time.  He really did.  Logan and I enjoyed our time together - for the most part.  Every morning when we'd drop Chase off, Logan would FREAK out.  

"NO, MOM!  THAT'S MY CHASE!"  

He could be heard over hundreds of children in the gym.  He ended up with quite a reputation before the week was through.  Thank goodness I had the forethought to put him in the stroller.  If he'd been flailing in my arms, I'd have probably dropped him!

Toward the end of the week, my mom and grandmother came for a visit.  We went to the beach on Saturday morning.  It was only the second time we'd been to the beach since we moved here.  Chase isn't too sure about things still, because the water was so dangerous in Humboldt.  He was really worried when I got in the water here.  He finally relented and got in about ankle deep.  We're planning another drive to the beach when Daddy gets home, so hopefully Chase will start feeling better about it.  He also had a little girl flirting with him there.  He was so clueless.  She was an older woman, too... 7!  They were about the same height, so she didn't believe him when he said he was 5.  It was funny.

Little Logan was completely smitten by Nanny, my grandmother.  He has so much fun with her, and she really fits nicely around his little finger.  ;)  After bathtime one evening, I had gotten Logan out and wrapped him in a hooded towel.  I sent him looking for Grammy, my mom, to get dressed and powdered and whatnot.  He goes to the kitchen where Nanny is, whips open his towel and exclaims, "Look Nanny!  My PENIS!"  She'll be laughing about that one for a while, I think.  He's awfully proud of that thing...  

Logan has really started talking so well.  I think Stuart will be surprised when he gets home.  Chase is reading like a pro, too.  I purchased school clothes recently, and am cautiously optimistic about the start of school.  *sigh*

Oh...in other news, I chopped all my hair off last Friday.  It looks so much healthier, and is really sassy.  I like it.  I don't really miss my long hair at all.  Even in the humidity this style seems to be manageable.  AND my stylist only charged me $25 at a local day spa!  How great is that?!

I had to take a break

Today I've been working on some purging.  Our closet in the computer room/Man Cave has been out of control, filled with the things we just didn't want to deal with when we moved in.  I also cleaned out and organized the closet in the master bedroom, which needed to be done terribly.

I've figured out why I had been putting this off so long.  There were two large boxes full, plus a little in another box, of "keepsake" stuff from my childhood/teen years.  I suppose most people look back fondly on days gone by.  I so wish that were the case.

I found my school journal from third grade.  Each day in Mrs. Davies' class, we had to write two sentences about what was going on that day.  There were days where I was upset with someone, days I was proud of an accomplishment, and days that were simply "Today is Tuesday.  Tomorrow will be Wednesday."  A day in early February held reports of snow, and a few days later I commented that the snow would be melting and making everything soggy.  The last two days' worth of writing made my eyes fill with tears.  One day said, "We're going to look for a house in Kansas."  The next day said, "We are moving soon.  I don't know when."  I didn't write in that book again.  I don't remember how it all transpired, but I'm sure the next day was likely my last day of school at Central Elementary in Poteau.  

The move itself wasn't terribly traumatic.  I was leaving my friends and what I had known as home since I was 3.  My dad had been living in his Volkswagen bus in Kansas all ready, waiting for us to move up there.  He worked for the railroad.  I vividly remember Mom helping him get all packed up, and making curtains for the windows in the bus.  I remember Dad getting set up with a ceramic heater so that he wouldn't freeze up there in the early spring during the cold nights.  

I'm glad that we were able to be a family again.  I think we lived in Kansas something like 10 months?  I'm crushed that things ended so abruptly.  I remember being at a Brownie meeting a few weeks before I wrote in my journal, and my Brownie leader had mentioned that she heard I was moving to Kansas City.  I had no idea what she was talking about.  I was excited at the prospect of a new adventure.  My mom was so upset that Mrs. K had mentioned it to me.  Looking back, I feel upset that Mom hadn't mentioned it to me.  In fact, we weren't moving to Kansas City, we were moving to Arma, a town with a population of less than 1000.

I guess that's the benefit of a military family.  I don't know for a fact how far in advance my parents knew we were moving.  I do know that we'll usually have a decent bit of notice.  Maybe I subconsciously knew about the way I felt then...when I was 8 years old.  I started preparing Chase well in advance so that he'd know we were moving.  He'd have time to figure it out as much as he could in his head.  He told everyone we came across that we were moving to "Misses Tupsie", then to Alabama after we found our home and decided Stuart would commute.

My childhood friendships were stopped abruptly.  I lost touch with all of them.  I've found a few on myspace here and there, but what do you say to someone you've not talked to in 20 years?  Remember me?  I helped you with your homework when you broke your arm in 2nd grade.  

There were only a few things that I looked at fondly in the boxes.  Trips Stuart and I had made to the beach in high school.  Church camps that I'd gone to.  Awards and certificates from Mock Trial and Choir.

I can't really put it all into words.  I am so sad, though.  So sad.  It's upsetting to see the evidence in my "keepsake" box of my parents' marriage falling apart.  Of me drifting off into depression.  Gaining 40 lbs.  Becoming a recluse, and the butt of family fat jokes.  

It's so sad that things that happened so long ago are still so raw.  I know this is why I've put this off for so long.  

I really hope to provide my boys with love.  I want them to know that Stuart and I love each other and love them.  I don't want them to be afraid of us.  I don't want them to be ashamed of us (though I know every kid is embarrassed of their parents at one point or another).  I want them to look back fondly on the adventures we had as a family.  I want them to have pictures to look through and smile.  

I hope they never feel the way I feel right now.  I hope their past is something they feel excited about sharing.

Because I've been slacking in this area...

and by popular request...

A few Chase-ism's to start your day!

When we went to drop Dutchess off at the kennel before our trip, we were all in the car together.  The boys were excited that Dutch was riding with us, but then were concerned when we stopped at the Animal Barn.  Stuart got out to take her in, and both kids started wailing.

Chase said, "But Moooom!!!  I love my dog!  She's the perfect pet!  I just love my Dutchie!"

I explained that it was like "little Joey's" (what he calls La Quinta) just for dogs.  She was going to have special time and get to play with other dogs while we were gone.  

He wasn't convinced.

"Well, can we at least get a cat?"

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We were watching Chicken Little the other night as a family.  Both kids love it.  Logan cracks up and trys to act out the opening sequence when he's missed the bus.  

It gets to the part where Chicken Little's foot gets stuck in the gum in the cross walk.  Chase gets this mischievous look on his face and says:

"Hey, Mom!  Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

How he's even heard of that, I have no idea, but his timing was impeccable!

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This one's a little sad...

Stuart left yesterday to head back to dry dock after spending some great family time with us.  We had to drive him to meet his ride in the GV back to Tampa.  I didn't anticipate this to go smoothly, to say the least.  The kids really love their Daddy.

Stuart gets out and hugs the kids goodbye.  The truck pulls out right in front of us.

Chase says, "Mom!  Can we follow them?"  The truck is heading north, the same direction we're going.

"No, baby.  Not today.  We've got to head home and Daddy's got to go back to the boat."  The truck gets on the interstate.

"But Mom, we just CAN follow them.  See?"  I continue on my northward trek, leaving behind the entrance ramp.

"Oh, okay... I guess you're right... Maybe next time..." he says very sadly.  

Both kids did do really well last night, though.  Not as much wailing and whining as I had anticipated.  I know I have some days of acting out ahead of me, and that's okay.  Sometimes I feel like acting out, too.  ;)

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

"Let the good times roll!"

and we did.

Here's a brief run down:

Day 1 - Saturday

We drove to Baton Rouge to meet my mom and her husband to drop the boys off.  I was worried about a major freak out with Logan, but he went happily.  Chase was really excited to head to Texas.  

It was so odd having an empty back seat.  After driving around for 5 1/2 years with at least one munchkin behind you, it's hard to get used to the quiet of a child-free backseat.  As we headed southeast, a HUGE storm rolled in.  It was thundering, lightning, and pouring buckets of rain.  I was so worried that it was an indication of what our weekend had in store for us.  I'm happy to report that I was wrong!

We checked in to the hotel and went up to our room.  To our surprise, we had a jacuzzi tub.  I wasn't expecting that, but I sure didn't complain!  We also had a balcony.  The view wasn't fantastic (the balcony was about 2 feet from a brick wall), but I enjoyed the vines and greenery right outside.  Plus we had the added bonus of being able to have the door open without anyone seeing in.  ;)

We headed out for some lunch.  It was a LATE lunch, at 3:30.  We traipsed a few blocks down the road to the Acme Oyster House.  We had some oysters on the half shell, a good beer, and split a seafood platter.  The cocktail sauce at this place was heavy on the horseradish, and I seriously could feel my nasal cavity BURNING with every bite.  It was fantastic torture.  After lunch we went wandering through the French Quarter a bit.  It's so nice to check out the iron work on the balconies, and admire the architecture.  I also enjoy the people watching.  

We got to town too late to do much of anything touristy, so we got dressed up and went to Harrah's for a while.  We played some penny slots, and left with a few more dollars than we came in with, so that was good.  Nothing too exciting to talk about, though.

We ended up hungry after a lot of walking in the sweltering heat, and weren't sure what to try for dinner.  If you've not been to New Orleans, the restaurants in the French Quarter usually have someone standing out front with a menu trying to entice you inside.  That really turns me off, and I didn't want to eat somewhere like that.  We found this little hole in the wall bar called Yo Mama's.  It wasn't very busy in there yet, and we sat down and had a drink and ordered burgers.  I had a mushroom burger, and Stuart got a plain one.  It was so good.  The mushrooms tasted like they had been marinated in whatever the meat was marinated in.  Soooo good.  The potato salad left a lot to be desired, though.  On the way back to the hotel, we walked down Bourbon Street, and we each got a Hand Grenade.  I have no idea what's in this drink, but it's the new "must try" beverage in NOLA.  It was tasty and VERY strong.  

Day 2 - Sunday

Sunday morning we woke up to rain.  Lots of rain.  We were planning to walk everywhere, because parking tends to be pricey and inconvenient.  Because of the rain, though, we couldn't even get to a shop to purchase an umbrella without getting soaked.  We drove to a nearby Walgreens and purchased two umbrellas.  Our plan for the day was to head to the Aquarium of the Americas, and maybe check out the IMAX.  

By the time we found a parking spot, the rain had almost stopped.  We hadn't been to the aquarium since August of 2002, when I was about 6 months pregnant with Chase.  It was really fun.  We both loved walking around and checking out all the exhibits.  I had a great time watching the penguin feeding.  The seahorse exhibit is one of my favorite.  I think they are amazing animals.  

Our movie didn't start until 2, so we had some time to kill after the Aquarium.  We strolled over to Bubba Gump's for lunch.  This was where we'd eaten almost 6 years ago.  It was really yummy, and our waiter had a good sense of humor.  This is also where I was introduced to Purple Haze.  I have a tendency to be a beer snob after living in Humboldt County, the land of breweries.  Purple Haze is a fruity, summertime beer, and very refreshing.  

After lunch, we headed to the IMAX to watch the Dolphins and Whales movie.  It was a 3D movie, which was fun.  It's hard for me to get used to the effects since I wear glasses.  It's hard to get everything lined up just so.  I love marine mammals, and was prepared to fall more in love with them during the film.  The effects and majesty were great.  The narration was not.  It was disappointing that the movie turned into an environmentalist guilt trip.  I have no problem trying to save the earth.  I want our children and their children to grow up being able to appreciate the various forms of life here.  I was just frustrated that the movie wasn't more about the animals and less about the not-so-hidden agenda.  stepping gracefully down off my soap box now

We took the car back to the hotel and changed clothes.  There was a creole tomato festival at the French Market, and we wanted to check it out.  We wandered down and walked around.  It was hot and crowded.  We did make one purchase, some Mardi Gras beads with a Coast Guard pendant.  It was the only one she had, and it was a great find!  We got the heck out of there, and walked through some shops.  Most of the souvenir shops were various layouts of the same crap, but the galleries and small businesses were fun to look in.  

Because this get away was such a treat, and an opportunity to explore ourselves as adults, individuals, and as a couple aside from being Mom and Dad, we made a pact to try new things and step outside our normal limits.  It was a nice challenge, and we had a much better time than I would have in the past.  I was really able to let go a little and have a good time.

Dinner on Sunday was at Pat O'Brien's.  I somehow managed to get to dinner without my camera.  I tried a drink called the Rainstorm, which was completely delicious.  Stuart and I shared a trio sampler of cajun cuisine, which included gumbo, crawfish etouffee, and jambalaya.  Oh.how.yummy.  It was spicy enough without being too spicy, and really a taste of home for us.  We also had the strawberry hurricane cheesecake, which was divine.

Day 3 - Monday

For whatever reason, Mondays are dead in New Orleans.  All of the museums, the Audobon wildlife parks, and quite a few businesses are closed.  We went down to the Riverwalk, though, and walked.  We watched a cruise ship moored up getting ready to leave.  We looked in nearly every shop in that center.  It was surprising to me how many shops in New Orleans had belly dance costumes and accessories.  

We had lunch at the Jackson Brewery, at a place called The Lazy River.  It wasn't until I checked the bank account that I realized it is a Pat O'Brien's restaurant.  LOL.  You'll see the humor in a minute.  I enjoyed another Purple Haze with my red beans and rice.  Mmmmm.  Southern cuisine.  

After lunch we headed back to the hotel and took advantage of the pool.  It was a beautiful day, and the saltwater pool was really soothing.  We were the only ones there for a while, so that made it even better.  

I really wanted to go back to Pat O'Brien's for dinner Monday night.  I wanted to dress up a little bit, have another Rainstorm, and go back armed with my camera.  I'm really glad we did.  I had crawfish cakes and Stuart had shrimp creole.  I had a Rainstorm and a Hurricane.  Our waitress informed us that the Rainstorm had 3.5 shots of liquor and the Hurricane had 4.  Uh, yeah.  I was a little giddy when we left.  OH!  I almost forgot the pecan pie we shared.  The pecan pieces were large, and the portion was generous.  It was yummy.  Beyond yummy.

We did a little more walking around and then turned in early.  I wasn't in any shape to do much of anything else.

Day 4 - Tuesday

I woke up at 4:30 Tuesday morning.  I was a little green around the gills from Monday night's beverages.  We had an early breakfast and got everything packed up.  We left early to head back to Baton Rouge to meet up with the kiddos.  The treat for me this day was that my mom, both sisters, and my grandmother were coming to bring the kids.  We hadn't all been together in about a year and a half.  We had lunch at Chili's and walked around the Tanger Outlet Mall for a few hours.

Our trip was fantastic.  I really want to take advantage of the boys being able to get away on their own with our family and Stuart and I being able to get away and recharge our relationship.  It was so nice to remind ourselves how fun it is to be friends and just hang out together.  I told him that the trip, for me, wasn't about me "falling in love all over again."  He looked at me a little funny.  I told him that I didn't feel like we'd fallen out of love at all, so I couldn't fall in love all over again.  We are completely head over heels still, and I love that.  We held hands, laughed, and completely enjoyed one another.  

I'm ready to plan our next trip now...  I know it'll be a little while, but we've got to make a point to reconnect like this more regularly.

The album of photos is available here for your viewing pleasure.

What a freaking day. **warning - graphic images**

I will preface this by saying that for about an hour and a half today, my children were remotely well-behaved, and I got to talk to a special friend on the phone.

Now, then.

I am finding more and more that there is only a 15 minute window in this "single mom" life where my home is presentable for company.  For those that know me, and know the chaos that can be my home, I've actually been doing a very good job keeping a tidy home.  Well, after the kids go to bed at night.  You'll get to see more in a moment...

I thought, a few days ago, that I'd buy a watermelon to share with the kiddos.  Chase ate a little, and Logan ate a lot.  Of course we wake up the next morning to a screaming, bleeding diaper rash.  It's on the mend now, but still really sore and really raw.  Diaper changes are torture for both of us.  Add to that his all ready lovely two year old attitude, and Logan is just a swell guy to be around.

For some reason, my home is being invaded by spiders.  Not just little pesky spiders.  I'm talking as big as or bigger than a 50 cent piece.  For example:

So, on top of the spider invasion, I forget that it's visitation night for the church.  Ugh.  It's 5 minutes to 7.  The kids just finished eating, I just came out of the bathroom, getting ready to do bath time.  The house is, well, I'll let it speak for itself:

I hear the knock at the door.  Thinking very unchurchly things, my kids screaming to go outside, me about half-dressed in grey and pink yoga pants and a black camisole, I answer the door.  There stands a very Southern older lady, all made up in her coordinating pantsuit with floral applique'.  Imagine the look I got.

*sigh*  

I grew up in a home that was never visitor-ready, and it made me embarrassed for friends to come over.  I have worked really hard to be better about keeping my home clean.  With Stuart gone, I'm struggling with the caring for kids, dog, myself and home all alone.  

Oh, and to top it off, Chase just saw me posting the picture of the living room and said, "Oh, what a mess!!!"  Yeah...NOW he notices...

I absolutely cannot wait until our New Orleans trip at this point.  I love my children with every ounce of my being, but I'm needing a break.  For real.

Oh, and I forgot to add the huge lump I found under Dutchie's right front leg.  It's like someone put a marble under her skin.  :(  We'll be getting her to the vet, and hoping it's nothing to worry about.  *sigh*

New skill

Well, no, it's not that the fridge is learning to rappel.  

It's actually, in fact, more along the lines of this:

In yet another "Daddy watching the boys" episode, Logan breaks into the fridge.  Chaos and disorder ensue.

Here's what happens when I get a break.  I leave for a couple of hours.  This particular day, I was going to get my hair cut.  The last time, it was to shop with a friend.  Both times, I've been gone just a little while, and I get the call:

"Babe, guess what your son just did..."

On Sunday, it seems that my son wanted something from the fridge.  He, in all of his two-year-old glory opened the fridge to get to the cupcakes that Nena sent home with me.  Instead of just eating them quickly, he placed one upside down on his head.  Then he smeared one in the carpet in the living room, and another on the wall.  Neat, huh?  He also thought that the picture of a strawberry on the Cool Whip container indicated that there were actually strawberries inside.  In his disappointment, he got Cool Whip everywhere, after letting a plush toy swim in it for a while.

My response?

"You're fired.  You suck as a babysitter."

Hubby says, "Fine.  I'll just pack my stuff up and leave tomorrow."  (Headed back to dry dock.)

Touche'.

...and I still had to clean the wall and carpet ~ Figure that one out...

It's official

Hotel is booked.  Kids are goin' to Grammy's, Aunt Ame's, and Grandma's.

Mom and Dad are goin' to New Orleans!  I cannot wait!!!  Absolutely cannot wait.

I used Priceline to book.  My sister does this ALL the time to book hotels.  We got almost 1/2 off of the advertised sale on Orbitz.  The only catch is the ungodly parking cost, but that's at EVERY hotel in NOLA.  

I'm so excited.  I'm ready for a couple of easy days sans kids.  I love my children dearly.  I really do.  I'm just growing weary of the single mom lifestyle.  I miss my best friend, my confidante, and my love.  I'm so looking forward to sleeping in - or not.  ;)  I am ready to stroll the streets hand in hand.  I cannot wait to eat dinner slowly, able to carry a real conversation.  

Just a few weeks away!  Woo hooo!