A new role

I am officially a student once again.  I began Medical Transcription school yesterday.  I received a scholarship from Operation Life Transformed to receive training through Career Step.

It is difficult for me to really own the fact that I'm doing something for me.  How incredibly empowering.  Jumping right in, I completed my orientation module yesterday, and aced the first quiz.  I seriously doubt that the rest of my education will be quite so easy, but I am looking forward to it.

I told a friend yesterday that it will be nice to use my brain.  Many days, I feel like it is just marinating up there.  I am eager to wake it up and start learning again.

In other news, I have been feeling really poorly lately.  I had some lab work done this week, and I will need to see my doctor again because my labs came back with no indication of what my problem might be.  Say a little prayer for a cooperative physician that is eager to help me, and for better days for me.  I am very exhausted and having a lot of joint pain.  My fingers, shoulders, hips, and knees are very painful, and it's a constant ache with times of stabbing, burning pain.  It's definitely making it hard to do the "single" mom thing with Stuart gone.

What's up with me?

I've had some crazy things going on lately.  I'm not usually one of those "put it out in the universe, and it will come to pass" kind of people.  I mean, sure, I try to be optimistic - sometimes nauseatingly so.  However, the last couple of weeks has been a testament to the universe theory.

In a matter of a couple of days, in some cases hours, I would mention a situation, make a decision about it, and then a resolution would appear from nowhere!  Let me think of how it all started...

A few months ago, after we moved, I volunteered to take the ombudsman position on Stuart's boat.  The existing ombudsman was moving, and I knew the boat would need a new one.  I hadn't heard an update at all, and had given up.  Two hours after I made that decision, Stuart called and said that I had been chosen.  How weird is that?

I also, on another blog, have a special function for support...  It's a confidential support request, and it's a new feature.  No one had taken advantage of it, and my friend and leader of the pack and I had been discussing it.  Honestly, the next day I had a support request.  Isn't that weird?

There are more examples, not all of which I'm able to discuss publicly.  It is so nice to feel like things are looking up for me.  We've been pretty miserable trying to find our place in Mobile.  We're still working on that, but in the meantime, my cyber-life isn't looking too shabby.  I have a lot of working projects, some opportunities for new projects, and the support and love of a lot of fabulous friends.

Oh, and I'm starting online classes very soon.  Stay tuned for updates on that one.

I was tagged

Barb tagged me!  Thanks, lady!  ;)

The "rules" of the game are as follows:
1. Post the rules on your blog.
2. Write 6 random things about yourself.
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post.
4. If you're tagged, DO IT and pass on the tag.

So, 6 random things about me:

1.  I like potato salad sandwiches.

2.  I have a bit of a crush on a Dancing With the Stars Dancer.  Yes, my husband knows.  

3.  My husband was my first kiss.  

4.  He's the only guy I've ever kissed.  (I hear it... awwwwwww!)

5.  I have very close friends that I have never seen face to face.

6.  I like to smell my two year old's stinky feet.

So, now, I tag:

Corinne

Beth

Cirrus

Roni

The Little Wife

Elizabeth

Project Brain Child

Please read and repost (click "reply to poster" then copy and paste all the code into a new bulletin.
) THANK YOU!!!!


Here is something you can do for kids with brain tumors (like Hadley). It takes a moment of your time and doesn't cost you a dime. You do have to be an American Express cardholder to vote...but, even if you aren't you can help out by spreading the word. Thank you SO much.




Project Brain Child is an iniative of the Pediatric Low Grade Glioma Association.


Members Project is a program sponsored by American Express where cardmembers submit innovative ideas for projects that make a difference. Cardmembers vote on the projects, and the winning 5 projects will receive up to $1.
5 million in funding from American Express, awarded as follows:

$1,500,000 for the winning project
$500,000 for the 2nd place project
$300,000 for the 3rd place project
$100,000 each for the two remaining finalist projects
The Pediatric Low Grade Glioma Association (PLGA) submitted their project idea to American Express in August. They will use the funds to conduct a feasibility study to create a National Pediatric Genomic Brain Tumor Registry. The information collected in this registry would allow scientific researchers and medical experts to target specific genetic abnormalities with existing drugs most effectively.


The registry will embody all brain tumor types, not just low grade gliomas.


Project Brain Child was selected from over 1190 other projects to be in the top 25. As of today, September 17, they are in 9th place.


They need to be one in fifth place or better to receive an award. Votes must be cast by September 28.


Any American Express cardholder may vote. If you don't have an American Express card, you can still help by spreading the word to your friends.


Brain tumors kill more children every year than all other diseases combined. Please help this effort.


(Copied and pasted from Steven's Page)

Oh, gee whiz.

My little big boy went to VBS last week.  I took him and dropped him off M-F for a few hours.  He had a great time.  He really did.  Logan and I enjoyed our time together - for the most part.  Every morning when we'd drop Chase off, Logan would FREAK out.  

"NO, MOM!  THAT'S MY CHASE!"  

He could be heard over hundreds of children in the gym.  He ended up with quite a reputation before the week was through.  Thank goodness I had the forethought to put him in the stroller.  If he'd been flailing in my arms, I'd have probably dropped him!

Toward the end of the week, my mom and grandmother came for a visit.  We went to the beach on Saturday morning.  It was only the second time we'd been to the beach since we moved here.  Chase isn't too sure about things still, because the water was so dangerous in Humboldt.  He was really worried when I got in the water here.  He finally relented and got in about ankle deep.  We're planning another drive to the beach when Daddy gets home, so hopefully Chase will start feeling better about it.  He also had a little girl flirting with him there.  He was so clueless.  She was an older woman, too... 7!  They were about the same height, so she didn't believe him when he said he was 5.  It was funny.

Little Logan was completely smitten by Nanny, my grandmother.  He has so much fun with her, and she really fits nicely around his little finger.  ;)  After bathtime one evening, I had gotten Logan out and wrapped him in a hooded towel.  I sent him looking for Grammy, my mom, to get dressed and powdered and whatnot.  He goes to the kitchen where Nanny is, whips open his towel and exclaims, "Look Nanny!  My PENIS!"  She'll be laughing about that one for a while, I think.  He's awfully proud of that thing...  

Logan has really started talking so well.  I think Stuart will be surprised when he gets home.  Chase is reading like a pro, too.  I purchased school clothes recently, and am cautiously optimistic about the start of school.  *sigh*

Oh...in other news, I chopped all my hair off last Friday.  It looks so much healthier, and is really sassy.  I like it.  I don't really miss my long hair at all.  Even in the humidity this style seems to be manageable.  AND my stylist only charged me $25 at a local day spa!  How great is that?!

I had to take a break

Today I've been working on some purging.  Our closet in the computer room/Man Cave has been out of control, filled with the things we just didn't want to deal with when we moved in.  I also cleaned out and organized the closet in the master bedroom, which needed to be done terribly.

I've figured out why I had been putting this off so long.  There were two large boxes full, plus a little in another box, of "keepsake" stuff from my childhood/teen years.  I suppose most people look back fondly on days gone by.  I so wish that were the case.

I found my school journal from third grade.  Each day in Mrs. Davies' class, we had to write two sentences about what was going on that day.  There were days where I was upset with someone, days I was proud of an accomplishment, and days that were simply "Today is Tuesday.  Tomorrow will be Wednesday."  A day in early February held reports of snow, and a few days later I commented that the snow would be melting and making everything soggy.  The last two days' worth of writing made my eyes fill with tears.  One day said, "We're going to look for a house in Kansas."  The next day said, "We are moving soon.  I don't know when."  I didn't write in that book again.  I don't remember how it all transpired, but I'm sure the next day was likely my last day of school at Central Elementary in Poteau.  

The move itself wasn't terribly traumatic.  I was leaving my friends and what I had known as home since I was 3.  My dad had been living in his Volkswagen bus in Kansas all ready, waiting for us to move up there.  He worked for the railroad.  I vividly remember Mom helping him get all packed up, and making curtains for the windows in the bus.  I remember Dad getting set up with a ceramic heater so that he wouldn't freeze up there in the early spring during the cold nights.  

I'm glad that we were able to be a family again.  I think we lived in Kansas something like 10 months?  I'm crushed that things ended so abruptly.  I remember being at a Brownie meeting a few weeks before I wrote in my journal, and my Brownie leader had mentioned that she heard I was moving to Kansas City.  I had no idea what she was talking about.  I was excited at the prospect of a new adventure.  My mom was so upset that Mrs. K had mentioned it to me.  Looking back, I feel upset that Mom hadn't mentioned it to me.  In fact, we weren't moving to Kansas City, we were moving to Arma, a town with a population of less than 1000.

I guess that's the benefit of a military family.  I don't know for a fact how far in advance my parents knew we were moving.  I do know that we'll usually have a decent bit of notice.  Maybe I subconsciously knew about the way I felt then...when I was 8 years old.  I started preparing Chase well in advance so that he'd know we were moving.  He'd have time to figure it out as much as he could in his head.  He told everyone we came across that we were moving to "Misses Tupsie", then to Alabama after we found our home and decided Stuart would commute.

My childhood friendships were stopped abruptly.  I lost touch with all of them.  I've found a few on myspace here and there, but what do you say to someone you've not talked to in 20 years?  Remember me?  I helped you with your homework when you broke your arm in 2nd grade.  

There were only a few things that I looked at fondly in the boxes.  Trips Stuart and I had made to the beach in high school.  Church camps that I'd gone to.  Awards and certificates from Mock Trial and Choir.

I can't really put it all into words.  I am so sad, though.  So sad.  It's upsetting to see the evidence in my "keepsake" box of my parents' marriage falling apart.  Of me drifting off into depression.  Gaining 40 lbs.  Becoming a recluse, and the butt of family fat jokes.  

It's so sad that things that happened so long ago are still so raw.  I know this is why I've put this off for so long.  

I really hope to provide my boys with love.  I want them to know that Stuart and I love each other and love them.  I don't want them to be afraid of us.  I don't want them to be ashamed of us (though I know every kid is embarrassed of their parents at one point or another).  I want them to look back fondly on the adventures we had as a family.  I want them to have pictures to look through and smile.  

I hope they never feel the way I feel right now.  I hope their past is something they feel excited about sharing.

Because I've been slacking in this area...

and by popular request...

A few Chase-ism's to start your day!

When we went to drop Dutchess off at the kennel before our trip, we were all in the car together.  The boys were excited that Dutch was riding with us, but then were concerned when we stopped at the Animal Barn.  Stuart got out to take her in, and both kids started wailing.

Chase said, "But Moooom!!!  I love my dog!  She's the perfect pet!  I just love my Dutchie!"

I explained that it was like "little Joey's" (what he calls La Quinta) just for dogs.  She was going to have special time and get to play with other dogs while we were gone.  

He wasn't convinced.

"Well, can we at least get a cat?"

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We were watching Chicken Little the other night as a family.  Both kids love it.  Logan cracks up and trys to act out the opening sequence when he's missed the bus.  

It gets to the part where Chicken Little's foot gets stuck in the gum in the cross walk.  Chase gets this mischievous look on his face and says:

"Hey, Mom!  Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

How he's even heard of that, I have no idea, but his timing was impeccable!

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This one's a little sad...

Stuart left yesterday to head back to dry dock after spending some great family time with us.  We had to drive him to meet his ride in the GV back to Tampa.  I didn't anticipate this to go smoothly, to say the least.  The kids really love their Daddy.

Stuart gets out and hugs the kids goodbye.  The truck pulls out right in front of us.

Chase says, "Mom!  Can we follow them?"  The truck is heading north, the same direction we're going.

"No, baby.  Not today.  We've got to head home and Daddy's got to go back to the boat."  The truck gets on the interstate.

"But Mom, we just CAN follow them.  See?"  I continue on my northward trek, leaving behind the entrance ramp.

"Oh, okay... I guess you're right... Maybe next time..." he says very sadly.  

Both kids did do really well last night, though.  Not as much wailing and whining as I had anticipated.  I know I have some days of acting out ahead of me, and that's okay.  Sometimes I feel like acting out, too.  ;)